Nintendo Showed Me the Future and it Scared the Shit Out Of Me

I have a really soft spot for Nintendo’s flailing Wii-U. It has totally missed the mark with the “core gamer” audience and hasn’t picked up the slack with casual players like its predecessor, but I find the sort of in-between it has going on right now really awesome. Out of three living-room systems, the Wii-U was surprisingly my most heavily played until the windfall of AAA titles late last year kept me glued to my PS4. I still log a few hours a week on the little guy despite not having a major release since last November, partly because it’s the only system that anyone wants to turn on should I have guests over and mainly because it’s the only system to have a great backlog of classics still connected to my TV (where you at PS4 and Xbone?). But around November of last year (and well before I had this blog) it showed me the possible future of advertising and it scared the living shit out of me.

I was walking around my apartment, minding my own business, when I heard a weird chirping noise.

Was it my phone?

Was it my laptop?

No. It was the little Wii-U gamepad. I hadn’t turned the system on. It hadn’t been on for days.

Like the Terminator, my gamepad had woken itself up, UNSOLICITED, and displayed an AD, IN MY HOME—WITHOUT MY CONSENT. INVADING my privacy to shill its games. Eating lunch today it happened again!! Splatoon looks cool, Nintendo, but I’m trying to eat a quesadia.

Futurist_RenderingFuturist’s Rendering.

Then me ole ticker got to tickerin’ and I had a vision of our disgusting, ad-ridden future from on high! Personal calls interrupted by ads, tvs turning on to play ads, futuristic shower and bidet sessions interrupted by ads!? The thought is terrifying!

“Okay,” some of you are saying, sitting in your study, moderate and intelligent. “But really is it that big a deal?”

Is it a big deal!?

YES!!

You’re part of the problem. Ads on ads on ads maybe a part of American Society right now but at least you have control over it! Fuck, you can’t even walk down the street without hearing, seeing, smelling, saying some company’s slogan or sigil!

And what is the psychological damage that all this shit causes? We don’t even know! And now we’re going to have more ideas pounded into our daily narratives without our consent!? Fuck that shit.

Okay, good, now I’ve gotten you riled up. I see you’re frothing at the mouth. Actually you should calm down you’re making the rest of the internet nervous.

Okay well now you’re saying, “By gosh Nate, I’m with you! How should we combat this menace? What should we do!?”

NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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